Our Worst Habit | Denver Senior Photographer | Denver Senior Photos | Denver Senior Portraits | Denver Senior Pictures | Sarah Lindsay Photography
This has been something that's been on my mind for a few months now. Why is it that we, as women, criticize other women the most? And we're nasty about it too! When a beautiful woman who is dressed nicely walks into the room, why do we immediately see her as competition, judge her, and make nasty remarks behind her back just to make ourselves feel better? Like, what are we competing for? All of the men? All of the attention? There is an abundance of all of that. So why do we act this way?
Recently, there has been a big feminist movement towards equality and it has been so nice to see women of all ages, races, sizes, etc. come together as ONE to help each other and lift each other up. And yet, in everyday situations, I see and hear women all the time talk behind their friends' backs, make snarky comments about another woman, and generally be a "B" to one another. But why????
In all honesty, I used to be one of those women and it's a hard habit to break since it's been ingrained in us for so long. But that's just it, it's a HABIT. It's something we can and should break! So I made a conscious mindset shift to think about other women differently.
I decided that if I was a real feminist, I should be lifting every woman up no matter what. So I started with my mindset. When I see a woman - pretty, not-so-pretty, tall, short, black, white, young, old - I make a conscious effort to take that knee-jerk reaction judgement and flip it around so it's a compliment. I silently compliment her in my head to make my judgement a positive one. For example, a while ago I was out with my friends and I saw a woman wearing a tight white dress with an open back. My knee-jerk reaction was to judge her and think (please read this is a snotty voice with your nose turned up) "She's thinks she's all that, she thinks she's better than everyone, look at how short that dress is!" but I stopped myself and thought, I would hate it if someone actually thought that of me! I would go crawl in a hole and never come out. So I changed my judgement and thought "That dress looks amazing on her! Look how beautiful that open back dress is! It fits her like a glove!" and it was true, she did look amazing in that dress.
Why do we, as women, immediately go to the negative judgement instead of the positive? Why do we want to tear other women down?
So if you're a real feminist or if you just want the world to be a friendlier place, do this with me. Every time you see a woman, compliment her in your head. Does she have great hair? Great shoes? A nice smile? It will take a while, but I guarantee you will kick the habit and will be a happier person. I'd really love it if you shared your compliments with me so we can do this together!
8/16/2018 11:11:42 am
Ahh, I can really relate to this blog post as I've been the victim of it often. So its taught me to be the opposite as I would never want to make anyone feel insecure for my own insecurities. I think its important as human beings to think kindly of each other and feel it would help so many of our problems if we were less judgmental. Great post!
8/16/2018 12:53:20 pm
Such an important post! I love how you consciously take a negative thought and turn it into a positive one. And as women I completely agree that we all need to expend our energy on lifting each other up. Wonderful post!
8/16/2018 03:10:05 pm
Very important post. Us women definitely need to stop being so negative not only to others but to ourselves. The judgement and words said behind others is something that needs to stop. I remember in Highschool dealing with this. People talking behind our backs. Other girls. It was rough. Teenage years I feel are the most important and when we need the most support from peers, family, etc. great post!
8/17/2018 09:52:52 am
Such a well written post. I am so glad that you brought this to life. I really feel that our own insecurities are the reason why as well as what the media portrays as beautiful. The media portrays beauty as something "unattainable" so to speak but with certain recognizable characteristics like "tall, slender, breasts, butt, legs, perfect makeup, gorgeous hair," etc. So I believe that when we see someone with a few of these characteristics we just get jealous internally or start self-sabotaging our own selves with these less than pleasant thoughts. As much as I try to love everyone, I get jealous and I know it stems from being made fun of as a teenager for being ugly and having acne. Also, growing up in Venezuela where women are known to be gorgeous - I never felt like I fit in. Anyways, thank you so much for letting me share with you :)
8/20/2018 12:51:48 pm
I feel the exact same way and have been turning any negative thoughts into a positive comment...even if I never say it aloud. It has definitely helped! Great post!!
8/20/2018 03:25:03 pm
I loved reading through this post. You brought up so many good points and it makes me sad how hurtful and judgmental women can be to each other! Thanks for the reminder to always be kind <3
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