This has been something that's been on my mind for a few months now. Why is it that we, as women, criticize other women the most? And we're nasty about it too! When a beautiful woman who is dressed nicely walks into the room, why do we immediately see her as competition, judge her, and make nasty remarks behind her back just to make ourselves feel better? Like, what are we competing for? All of the men? All of the attention? There is an abundance of all of that. So why do we act this way? Recently, there has been a big feminist movement towards equality and it has been so nice to see women of all ages, races, sizes, etc. come together as ONE to help each other and lift each other up. And yet, in everyday situations, I see and hear women all the time talk behind their friends' backs, make snarky comments about another woman, and generally be a "B" to one another. But why???? In all honesty, I used to be one of those women and it's a hard habit to break since it's been ingrained in us for so long. But that's just it, it's a HABIT. It's something we can and should break! So I made a conscious mindset shift to think about other women differently. I decided that if I was a real feminist, I should be lifting every woman up no matter what. So I started with my mindset. When I see a woman - pretty, not-so-pretty, tall, short, black, white, young, old - I make a conscious effort to take that knee-jerk reaction judgement and flip it around so it's a compliment. I silently compliment her in my head to make my judgement a positive one. For example, a while ago I was out with my friends and I saw a woman wearing a tight white dress with an open back. My knee-jerk reaction was to judge her and think (please read this is a snotty voice with your nose turned up) "She's thinks she's all that, she thinks she's better than everyone, look at how short that dress is!" but I stopped myself and thought, I would hate it if someone actually thought that of me! I would go crawl in a hole and never come out. So I changed my judgement and thought "That dress looks amazing on her! Look how beautiful that open back dress is! It fits her like a glove!" and it was true, she did look amazing in that dress. Why do we, as women, immediately go to the negative judgement instead of the positive? Why do we want to tear other women down? So if you're a real feminist or if you just want the world to be a friendlier place, do this with me. Every time you see a woman, compliment her in your head. Does she have great hair? Great shoes? A nice smile? It will take a while, but I guarantee you will kick the habit and will be a happier person. I'd really love it if you shared your compliments with me so we can do this together!
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Let me start by saying, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. However, I totally get it, you want to look your best, especially in your professional photos. So let's talk about nutrition and fitness and what you can do to be the best YOU! Now, notice I said, "...be the best YOU". That's because everyone's body is different, no two people will ever look alike (except for twins, I guess). Your genetics are different, your DNA is different, your environment is different, your access to fresh foods is different, etc. So the most important thing to accept when looking at fitness and nutrition is that you absolutely CANNOT compare yourself to someone else. I know this is hard - nearly impossible - but you're better off for it. Heck, I deal with it every day! I'm always comparing myself to my friends, celebrities, strangers, and other businesses. But I try not to, because they're not me! So let's dive into my tips to be the best you: 1. Love YourselfI know, I know you've heard it time and time again. But it's true! Now, I don't care if you love your body the way it is right now, but do you love yourself? Loving yourself is the first step to becoming a better and healthier you. By loving yourself, you let go of negativity and allow room for positivity thus allowing yourself the opportunity to be healthier. By loving yourself, your outlandish expectations of yourself diminish and your stress seeps away. Now, I know that you may not love yourself today, or even tomorrow, or a year from now. But each step you take, is one step closer to fully loving yourself. One thing I like to do is write down everything I love about myself on sticky notes and place them around my bedroom so that I see them every day. I write down what I love about my looks, my personality, and my life. Try it! 2. Diminish StressIn this world, we are constantly in a state of stress, however big or small. But by diminishing the stressors in our lives, we allow our body to repair itself: our skin looks brighter, our acne goes away, the stress-weight we're holding melts away, and our immune system bounces back. When we're stressed, our outer appearance (and our inner attitude) is a little lackluster. If you're not sure what exactly is stressing you out, here's what I do to figure it out: I'll brain-dump everything onto a piece of paper. Anything that could be stressing me out, anything in the future that is causing me anxiety, or anything that happened in the past that's in the back of my mind. Then I see which of those things make my stomach flip, or my heart beat faster. For me, it's usually a momentary tightness in my throat. Once I've figured out what thing(s) is stressing me out, I see what I can do to fix it. 3. Eat Whole FoodsYou don't have to eat at Whole Foods to eat whole foods (I'm hoping that was funny... Was it? Even slightly?). What I mean when I say "eat whole foods" is to eat things like fruit, vegetables, good fats, meat, and whole grain. I used to read a lot about nutrition, so hopefully I can give you some insight, but I'm not a nutritionist or anything, so please do your own research before taking my word for it. My number one rule for myself, is to listen to what my body needs. If I'm hungry, I'll go through a list in my head to see what "sounds good". Is it chicken? Then my body needs protein. Is it a salad? Then my body needs veggies and fiber. Is it something sweet? Then my body needs fruit. Now you might be saying... "But Sarah, I'm craving french fries" or "I can't stop thinking about a that Coca Cola in the fridge". Bad fats and refined sugar are addictive because they are fast, high energy sources for your body (they are also empty calories and cause acne - but we won't get into that now). So your body sees them as the easiest way to get a lot of energy quickly. But if we aren't marathon runners or working out all day, every day, our bodies can't use all the energy those foods provide. So our body ends up storing it for later. So if you constantly have crave things like soda, candy, or fried foods. Try weaning yourself off them slowly - your brain won't like you for a few days - it will probably be demanding you give it an Oreo cookie (or 5). But after a few days your mind and body will adjust and the cravings will stop. For example if you crave fried foods (like I do) try eating good fats instead: fresh mozzarella cheese with olive oil, basil, salt and pepper; or smear avocado on toast with a squeeze of lemon, salt and pepper. Heck you could even eat zucchini fries to start, but then slowly wean yourself off those too. 4. ExerciseIt can be REALLY overwhelming to think about how to exercise. I mean, there are so many exercise videos, workout plans, P90X things, gyms, and infomercials... I'm exhausted just thinking about it! But all you need to do is move. That's it! I don't care what you do, as long as you're moving. I think "they" recommend 30 minutes of exercise a day. But you don't have to start with 30 minutes. You can start with going for a 5 minute walk and eventually work your way up to a 30 minute walk. You can dance, play flag football with friends, play with your dog, run (if that's your thing... it's definitely not mine!), walk on your hands... it doesn't matter as long as you are moving your body. Exercise not only burns calories, but it also reduces stress which, as we talked about earlier, is a whole benefit within itself! 5. Love Yourself, AgainI know I said it above, but I'll say it again. Love yourself. Loving yourself allows you to exercise, eat healthy, and destress and ultimately allows you to become the best you (and one that will look fantastic in all your professional photos!).
Let me start by saying, this is NOT a plug for self-promotion. I genuinely want you to find the photographer that fits you best! Finding the right photographer for you will give you the best experience possible and produce the best photos for your needs. Working with the wrong photographer can lead to a sour experience and photos that you just don't like, not matter how pretty they are. So let's get started! #1 Figure out what style of photography you likeTo start, scroll through Instagram or Pinterest and pay attention to what types of photos you are drawn to. Are they dark and moody? Light and airy? Are the colors vibrant or muted? Does it look posed? Candid? Are most the photos tight (subject is large in the frame) or wide (subject is small in the frame)? Figuring out what you like about certain photos will allow you to narrow your search for a photographer right away, making it easier to find your perfect fit! It will also allow you to communicate effectively with potential photographers to let them know exactly what you're looking for. #2 Talk to photographers on the phone or in personI know, I know... it's scary to actually talk to someone. But you can't judge a person's personality based off their emails. And, in my opinion, personality is the most important thing to look for in your photographer. If your personalities don't mesh, then you're going to have a crappy photoshoot. Whereas, if you really jive with your photographer, you're going to have an amazing experience, you're going to look happy in every single photo, and you'll look at your photos and remember how much fun you had. By talking to potential photographers in person or on the phone, you'll also be able to judge how professionally they run their business which can make a big difference in the long run. Will they deliver your photos on time? Will they misplace your payments? Do they have insurance? These are all headaches you want to avoid! #3 BudgetMoney is always a touchy subject and I know I, for one, want to save as much money as possible no matter what I'm buying. But the old saying, "You get what you pay for" is DEFINITELY true when it comes to photographers. A lower priced photographer is most likely a less experienced photographer. I'm not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, heck, I was there once too and I am forever grateful for the first clients who hired me! You just have to decide how important it is to have a more experienced professional photographer. That being said, I would suggest finding a photographer you like (personality-wise) and if they are over your budget - save, save, save your pennies. I promise you, it will be worth it in the long run. Your professional photos will last forever, so making the investment in a really amazing photographer is totally worth it (you'll thank me when your 80 years old and looking through your old photo albums with your grandchildren, I promise). #4 What do you want as the final product from your photoshoot?Do you want digital images to share online? Do you want to see framed prints hung on your wall? Do you want cool self-standing acrylic blocks for your desk? These are all things to consider when looking for the right photographer. Many of you know, I am a huge proponent for physical photographs - whether that be hanging on your wall or an album on your coffee table - something that you'll see and will make you happy EVERY day. In my experience, when you get digital images, you share them on Facebook and then they sit in a folder on your computer, forgotten, and never seen again. Heck, I still haven't done anything with my wedding photos! Come to think of it, I'm not even sure where they are on my computer.
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